I’ve done the first 24 hours as a fully fledged single person in the house on my own. Yesterday was hard, I was fine all day and then I went to Tesco. There’s a guy up there who about a month ago asked me did I work at the council? I replied no and told him where I worked. He said “your boyfriend works at the council and he’s in here everyday buying alcohol?”. That was embarrassing. It was just after I had told Jon what I wanted to happen and it definitely added to my feeling that I was doing the right thing.
Well last night I was buying dog food and the same guy struck again, “where’s your boyfriend, I haven’t seen him in ages?”.
I came home and cuddled the dog and wished the night away. I put the TV on and started watching the coverage of the 5 year old girl missing in Machynlleth. I realised that things could definitely be worse. I decided to try and cheer up so I watched comedy programs all night instead – Trollied, Moone Boy and John Bishop. Part of me wanted to break out the wine, ice cream and my Adele album but I did the right thing. I want to be smashed drunk but couldn’t actually be bothered to put in the effort to drink.
I went upstairs and was expecting the place to look different. Jon has only taken his laptop, toiletries and some clothes. I don’t know when he’s coming back to get the rest.
I’m going to take Daisy out for a few hours today and then clean the house. I’m going to stay positive and to help I’m going to think of all the things I’m not going to miss…
1. Being woken up in the night by the sound of snoring
2. Listening to Lady Gaga, Westlife, The Eagles and a whole host of shitty songs from the 90’s
3. Feeling like I’m missing out on something, when other people tell me what they did with their loved ones at the weekend
4. Having a million empty cans about the place in the mornings
5. Having the man up Tesco asking me awkward questions
6. Wanting to go out but realising that Jon was too drunk to leave the house
7. Worrying about Jon everytime he did go out, calling his phone and him not answering which always equated to death in my mind
8. Having arguments about money and buying household items
9. Hearing the sound of a can being opened
10. Feeling sorry for Jon