Nice legs, what time do they open?


Well the Mother-In-Law has been and gone, gone being the best bit. She didn’t actually clean anything until the last day and that was actually doing me a favour, which was nice.

Yesterday I went out for a drink and actually managed to drink responsibly. I had three drinks then went home. I am totally skint this month so I won’t get too pleased with myself. It’s the second week in a row I have managed to achieve this. This Friday is payday and my leaving do, I fear my new found responsible self may be left by the wayside. It’s funny being out in a city at night and not being totally drunk. I have spoken about this before and after many experiments I still don’t have the answer. What actually happens to your eyesight when drunk? Do you go a little bit blind? If so why don’t we get scared? Or is it just the memory that goes a bit blind? I’m not sure.

Last night as it was still reasonably early the buses were still running. I went to the bus stop to wait. There was man there and I think I heard the world’s worst chat-up line…

“I’m not a rapist or anything, but I’d really like to shag your brains out please?”

Needless to say I spent the rest of the night at home…alone. Well not alone, with my boyfriend but he was so drunk that when I got back and spent about an hour talking to him he completely forgot. He woke up at 3am and started ringing my friends to see where I was only to discover me upstairs in bed!

It’s not that chat-up lines don’t work, sometimes they do. My boyfriend went down the cheesy route with “what’s a classy girl like you, doing in a place like this?” I found that really funny and did give him my number. It still makes me laugh now.

I’ve just googled ‘worst chat up lines’ and I’m amazed. I really wonder about the people that made them up. These are the one’s I like:

1. Do you have a raisin?…Well how about a date?

2. Is your surname Jacobs? Cos you’re a real cracker!

3. I bet you £20 you are going to turn me down (I could do with the money!!)

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2 thoughts on “Nice legs, what time do they open?

  1. It was an unfortunately I didn’t overhear it, it was said to me! The worst bit was there was also an older lady who overheard. She chipped in “go for it, your only young once – what are you 28?”. I’m 24!!

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